Do you let someone stomp all over you until you have had enough? What if that someone is a bunch of someones? And they are family?
I'm great at helping others thru their problems, but kinda suck with my own... I've made it a habit to let these people stomp all over me. a long habit, so its nice and set in there. And I don't know how to stop. I"m using some anger management techniques to help. I"m trying to separate myself as much as possible. They hurt the kiddo, so he will not be around for days that the rest of the family are spending time with these people. I've made the decision that they will NOT HURT MY CHILD. And if they start being mean to the baby, they won't see him either. So one down... now to work on me.
It hurts hubby when I"m not there, especially this year when we have so little time together and want to be close. Its not happening...
But I"m going to be strong this time, will not let someone break me. Because I am a strong woman and I will not be held down by someone else's opinion of me that is based not on what I have done, but what they expect me to do. So I will be strong, and I will not be hurt again. and if it costs me their scorn, then so be it. I can live with that.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Cha-cha-cha changes!
So many of them. Trying to do the job, the internship, the grad school, the kids and then we add Husband to the mix. I hate changes. I had it all under control. Had a great schedule that left me about 4 hours of sleep each night. The boys felt loved and I had time for both of them... Then my hubby came home.
Don't take it wrong, I love having him home. Spent the whole deployment working on making sure the baby didn't forget him and I got it right! Baby was so happy when daddy came to get him. The baby went right to him and they fell back into their old routine. Then the kiddo... well, he's 14 and full of angst. He doesn't care and he if daddy is home, he just wants to play his music and not worry about anything else.
But we are making it work.
Kiddo made all county band. I'm so happy!!! The only tuba in his school to make it. So proud of him. Missed a night of school for it, but its all good. Family comes first, everything else is second. And then next weekend we will be in Gulf Breeze all day at band stuff. It will be fun for the kiddo, not sure how the baby will take it, but it will work.
Hubby is looking at a one year tour in Korea, maybe, maybe not. I don't know how I will manage if he's gone again for so long... Its never good to be gone for so long. I think of all the things that he will miss and all that he will never get back with the kids. And I know that the boys won't forgive him if he leaves so soon after getting back.
Knitting, that is how I will handle it...
Don't take it wrong, I love having him home. Spent the whole deployment working on making sure the baby didn't forget him and I got it right! Baby was so happy when daddy came to get him. The baby went right to him and they fell back into their old routine. Then the kiddo... well, he's 14 and full of angst. He doesn't care and he if daddy is home, he just wants to play his music and not worry about anything else.
But we are making it work.
Kiddo made all county band. I'm so happy!!! The only tuba in his school to make it. So proud of him. Missed a night of school for it, but its all good. Family comes first, everything else is second. And then next weekend we will be in Gulf Breeze all day at band stuff. It will be fun for the kiddo, not sure how the baby will take it, but it will work.
Hubby is looking at a one year tour in Korea, maybe, maybe not. I don't know how I will manage if he's gone again for so long... Its never good to be gone for so long. I think of all the things that he will miss and all that he will never get back with the kids. And I know that the boys won't forgive him if he leaves so soon after getting back.
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