I have a slight problem with anxiety. Just a little, it's cause I tend to worry. It heredity; I worry but so does my grandmother and my mom. I know this and I try to work with it. All the time, I try.
I worry about work, did I get everything done? Will I meet all my deadlines (both work imposed and self imposed)? Do I have what it takes? And I know that I will get it done, on time, and I do have what it takes, but I use my anxiety to drive me to succeed and do the best that I can do.
I worry about my boys. Am I a good parent? Do I have enough patience? Am I teaching what they need to make it in the world? Then I look at my boys and see two happy, lovely boys, one who is standing on the edge of adulthood and has shown that he can make mostly good decisions and one who is learning how to be independent.
I worry about my marriage. He's gone so much, and I never know what will happen when he comes home. He will be home for a visit in just a few weeks, and I so worry about how we will get along when he is home. I've been independent and in charge of everything for the last 18 months, so it will be a huge change, even the short visit that he will get.
I worry about life, the new year and all the changes that might come. What will happen next. I know that we are up for orders, I want to stay here. I love my job, I love my house, my friends everything. Well most things, but more then I have ever loved at any of the bases that we have been stationed.
How do you deal? What happens next?
I know how to deal with anxiety, journaling, talking, keeping in the moment, accepting that life will take you for the ride that you are intended to be on. Its difficult. Mostly because I don't know where I will be this time next year, but last year I sat in the same spot with the same wonders. So I guess I close my eyes and hold on for the ride.
And knit, because that will help ease anxiety too...
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