Vacation, I think not

Every year my husband gets me my mom foe Christmas.  Gets her a ticket and sends her down to warm Florida to visit with the grandbabies (I'm mature enough to understand that she loves the babies and that is who she is really visiting, I"m just around to make sure that she gets to take the kids out and play with them).  Its the week that momma comes and plays with the kids and I get to sit and knit.  But I"m also trying to get in the last 3 months of cleaning that just didn't happen because working 40 hours a week plus school and having a toddler and a teen.
So my mom is playing with the kids and I get to hear the baby giggle and have a fun time, and even the teenager is having a good time.  He has been all smiles and even nice (gasp!).

And hats... I didn't get one cause the baby decided that I wasn't cool.  So I just took pictures of them playing in the driveway in the nice weather.  I'm loving having mom here for a visit.  I wish that she lived closer or that I could see her more, but I also know she gets to come because my hubby loves me.
All I want is family for the holidays and he always makes she that I have mom, even when he is over seas.

Christmas time is a time of Cheer?

Its been hard to find things to be cheery about in my little adobe.  So I'm grabbing what good news I can and clinging to it.
I'm in line for a job!  Great, we need the money!  But all of my work experience is with children and I need to have the adult experience for this job, so I need to find all the airmen that I've helped and have them write me letters saying how I"ve helped them out of a bind.  Hum, good luck.  Hopefully the guys that I have here will work cause I"m not having luck with the guys that are stationed else where right now.
And my car blew up.  Well, just the engine, but that meant I needed to get a new one.  So I really, really need a new car cause it was hard enough to make bills before and it will be impossible now.
But I"m in line for a job, that might almost pay enough to cover the child care.  almost...  Public mental health doesn't pay much at all.  just over minimum wage.
And then I"m trying to heal from some abdominal surgery that I had.  My belly button got an infection, so its itching, and hurty.  But the surgery was a success and hopefully life will be more normal.
And the boys, they miss their daddy so much.  And he is leaving again in April for a year.  And it breaks my heart.  I really didn't marry him to have him gone so much, damnit.
So its another Christmas/holiday season with out the hubby, and next year will be the same too.  So I worry, and cry and try to be happy for the boys.

and the season approaches

And no cheer in my house this year.  The baby will open any present he sees, so there are no unopened presents left in the house.  I had to have abdominal surgery so I"m sitting around half in pain, half drugged up waiting on pathology reports.  But I'm also looking for the good things.
I have great friends that have come over every day and helped me out.  My laundry is done, the house isn't a complete mess and things are mostly smooth.
My car is broken so that is sad.  I have to worry about getting to work next week driving the hubby's manual, but I have a car.  I will just have to take a few more pills than I want to.
The kiddo is angry that his dad is again missing his birthday, and Christmas.  But he opened his present at his party last weekend and he is happy that he has an electric guitar to play.  He said its not the same, but it will work.
Its the baby that I"m really worried about.  Daddy was gone his first year, this year and then next year too.  So he is learning that daddy isn't home for the important days.  and that is sad.  He doesn't want to talk on the phone and will only talk on the computer when I ask and ask him to.  I keep trying to tell him that its only one more month and daddy will be home, but he doesn't know who daddy is. and that makes me sad.
I'm really beginning to hate this time of the year, I"m looking for positives, but I"m just down right depressed.  I know it will be ok.  But I"m going to have to cry about it a few times before it is.  and I know part of it is the surgery, pain and just plain tired.  Hard to sleep when you really really hurt.  can't get comfy at all.
It will get better.