And no cheer in my house this year. The baby will open any present he sees, so there are no unopened presents left in the house. I had to have abdominal surgery so I"m sitting around half in pain, half drugged up waiting on pathology reports. But I'm also looking for the good things.
I have great friends that have come over every day and helped me out. My laundry is done, the house isn't a complete mess and things are mostly smooth.
My car is broken so that is sad. I have to worry about getting to work next week driving the hubby's manual, but I have a car. I will just have to take a few more pills than I want to.
The kiddo is angry that his dad is again missing his birthday, and Christmas. But he opened his present at his party last weekend and he is happy that he has an electric guitar to play. He said its not the same, but it will work.
Its the baby that I"m really worried about. Daddy was gone his first year, this year and then next year too. So he is learning that daddy isn't home for the important days. and that is sad. He doesn't want to talk on the phone and will only talk on the computer when I ask and ask him to. I keep trying to tell him that its only one more month and daddy will be home, but he doesn't know who daddy is. and that makes me sad.
I'm really beginning to hate this time of the year, I"m looking for positives, but I"m just down right depressed. I know it will be ok. But I"m going to have to cry about it a few times before it is. and I know part of it is the surgery, pain and just plain tired. Hard to sleep when you really really hurt. can't get comfy at all.
It will get better.
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