I have two children. One, who you would think at 13, could understand that the military takes away his daddy every year and a half for 6 months. The other is 2, all he knows is that daddy is gone, and mommy won't take him back to the airport to get him.
The 13 year old does not understand. Partly because of his Aspergers, partly because he doesn't understand war in general. So I try to explain it. They hurt us and we want to make sure that it doesn't happen again. That really isn't what is going on, but as an adult, that is how I see it too. I know that there is a larger reason, the human rights, the poppies and oil, and others. But is all boild down to they hurt us, and we are fighting back.
But no matter what I say there is the anger.
From the children, from me... from every other woman who has stood in my place.
My kiddo is having meltdowns like crazy since his daddy left. He doesn't understand, and for an aspy, he needs that. So he gets angry and has no clue what to do with his anger. I don't know what to do with it either. I try to keep life as much the same as I can so that I can help him, and I talk, and explain what I know he will understand. And we don't watch the news. I can deal with his anger.
But the baby...
He has no ability to understand what is going on. he is little, wants everything that he wants and wants it now. And right now he wants daddy. We took him to the airport, he got on a plane. Now when ever he hears a plane, its his daddy and he wants him back. So he cries. Because crying has worked before maybe it will work again. And when it doesn't work and he doesn't get daddy, he cries some more.
It breaks my heart. I can't do anything but hold him when he will let me, make sure that he doesn't hurt himself when he won't.
And I'm angry too. I don't want to have my husband gone. I want him home. But I have to be strong for my little boys. Even on the days that I would rather be in bed with the blankets over my head and want to cry.
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