Still fighting the feeling of dread when I go to drive my jeep... And I"m not alone, the kiddo and the baby have it. It wasn't that bad of an accident, damage wise. The kiddo was the only one to substain physical injuries, and the baby and I were mostly unhurt. Its the emotional injuries that are the worse.
I dread driving. Any and all driving. I dread taking my car in to get fixed. I shake, I sweat. And its not just in my car either. When driving the hubby's car I'm the same way. I"m changing my life so I don't have to leave my house. I am forcing myself to go out. I go to Wal-Mart. I take the baby to his sitters. I go to school. But I wanted to go to the beach and I couldn't go. I couldn't get behind the wheel and drive there.
I don't want to be a prisoner in my home. But what do I do? The baby has horrid nightmares that are made worse when I do try and take him in the jeep. The kiddo gets angrier (which is how teens respond to stress). and I get scared.
Yesterday a friend came over, the friend that came over the night of the accident. The baby went up to her and said "I was in a accident. I don't like white cars" then peed himself. It was so sad! This damn thing has affected my life worse than even I thought it could. I don't know what to do to make my children better and I'm trying to make me better at the same time.
I've hit a wall. I'm not sleeping good, which makes me hurt worse, and doesn't help any emotional problems. The kids both are still having nightmares. Trying not to let the hubby know how bad it is because he has enough on his plate and trying not to be too needy on my friends. Its a rough patch. I know that it will be over soon, but I'm hoping that it gets done with sooner rather than later.
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